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The theory of Skateboardtivity
We're not really talking about skateboarding here, so yeah, if you were looking for skateboarding, well then, you're just in the wrong place at the wrong time. '''The Theory of Skateboardtivity' is a very broad term[citation needed; oh wait, wait, nevermind, we got the source now], commonly referring to the theory that skateboards rule the world and have secretly ruled the world since the BC times. Now, to the average person, this may sound completely ridiculous, but scientists have been finding evidence that this is true, likely due to the fact that most skateboarders keep losing their skateboards paired up with skateboards just randomly breaking in half under cars, despite the fact that it's said that skateboards have been recently built with a steel bottom to the benefit of, yes, breaking under cars, and, yes, of course, when fat kids skate and so it'll be easier to hold the weight, but mainly when you're in a fight and you can just whack someone right in the head and knock them out with the steel plate on the board. Mainly, the theory of skateboardtivity revolves around skateboards building the metal plates themselves, and helping defending themselves whenever attacked, similar to the reverse-beetle effect. The theory has also been criticised heavily for its lack of originality, rationality and logicality and lack of evidence as well, due to the fact that, similar to a religion, it sounds more like an "assertion" rather than a "theory" but for whatever reason, it's still considered a theory but critics rightfully suggest that it shouldn't be. Oh well, that's life. Etymology In Latin, it came from "the theory of Skateboardtivity", well, in English, but it was translated from Spanish which said literally I eat baked potatoes that are dipped in ketchup, which was translated from German which meant France is a retard which was translated in Latin, originally, from Dogs eat their own throwup. Yeah, that's pretty disgusting. Look it up on, like, Wikipedia or something. Google it. I don't know; whatever. The term was defined by Gigawah but he wasn't American; he was a Pacific Oceaner, obviously, as he was born in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, like most people who create theories (Newton, Einstein, Aristotle, etc.) The topic being discussed here :Main article: Skateboardtivity Skateboardtivity, as defined earlier in the article, is the belief in the world being taken over/ruled by alienic skateboards "that can speak, talk, make words, verbalize, conversationalize, and are good conversationalists", which really says a lot, despite the fact that all of those are all the same friggin thing, which would mean that the definition is flawed, so thus, the Webster dictionary definition is flawed, too. Oh, what then!? What it really means is a race of skateboards that rule the world and look over it and smoke weed on the clouds in the sky, and when there aren't any clouds in the sky, then they're too busy smoking weed somewhere else. The thing is though, this isn't really considered a religion mainly because they don't believe in a faith, simply a bunch of humanoid-shaped skateboards smoking weed up in the sky somewhere. Well, some may consider that to be ridiculous, but really, some people actually believe it. Even though, really, not all that many people believe it. History :Main article: History of the theory of Skateboardtivity Gigawah The theory first came into effect in 12345 BC when Gigawah (he doesn't have a last n ame; for some reason that just seemed to happen a lot; i.e. Sacajawea, Sequoyah, Obama). Gigawah was a car inspector and manager for a company that, back then, before Walmart was popular, was called the Mart-Wal for whatever reason (it is believed that the Egyptians and their stupid viruses that they keep sending to Gigawah and his company, via email, of course, is the reason of why Gigawah is so stressed all the time and got talked into naming it that). One night, when returning home, Gigawah drove into the driveway, locked up his SUV, walked over to check the mail, just like every day, and then something happened....the first letter bomb!! It blew up in his face and he didn't get hurt. Anyway, so yeah, he went inside and sat down to drink some coffee when suddenly...................!!!!!!! He was out of cream. He sweared like crazy but eventually just accepted it and went to bed. But the next day, he was going to work when he had this great idea, after seeing a kid totally, like, bust his face on a skateboard, that he would compose the theory of skateboardtivity, which he did for the remainder of his life, which abruptly ended in 12343 BC at the age of 114 when he was holding a gun the wrong way when trying to bust a terrorist, and....well, yeah, he didn't know how to use it and he blew his head off with it. Developmentation (if that's a word?) After Gigawah died After Gigawah finally managed to die, a group of supporters commonly and offensively/racistly called "The Theorists of Skateboardtivity supportists" which they prefer to be called "The dolphin lovers" for whatever reason (likely, yet again, a thing dealing with the Egyptians with all that spam mail that filled up the computers of many supporters of the theory). Population for the supporters grew, growing rapidly from 10 to 25 within the next twelve thousand years. During this time, they were constantly, similar to the how the Christians do, convert whoever they see, even though this has little/nothing to do with religion, but as you can see, statisticly, it wasn't working too well for whatever reason. Likely it's because of the lack of credible evidence that exists with this project/theory. Back then it was just a "project" according to Internet critics, and that "that was a lower grade than assertion, even". One critic even said "it's barely not just an 'idea', because it really should Be. Yeah, 'project' is a very generous thing to call it." Twelve thousand years later alright.]] However, later in time, twelve thousand years later, in the year 343, a man named I PeePee Lots, who goes by his middle name PeePee, due to the fact that in school kids used to make fun of his name but he had an emotional disorder known as "The emotional disorder of 343", which was later known simply as "Emotionanl disorder 343", then "Emotional disorder", then to "Emotional", then stylized to "Emo" ITS JUST EMO. So that got in his way and he ended up blowing up the school he went to, the first one when he was sixteen. But that's not the point. He is famously known for proving it enough to make it an assertion and then a theory but he died too early to prove that it was a fact, even though he vowed he said he was. It's said that he died from Texting Depression, which is a common disorder that often results in suicide. He killed himself in 1789 when he was 1446 years old and he said "he'd seen enough of life". But thanks to seventy botox injections a day and a whole bunch of artificial working-out pills that he took every hour to make him healthy, he looked like a 20 year old man. Sortive. After that The earth strongly rebelled the idea that this could actually be a theory because when it was it went global mainstream and people, especially from America, were like "wtf are u talking about? 'Skateboardtivity'?" And many people "simply disagree with it for no reason whatsover", according to many scientists who say that evidence is evident amongst the world and especially in the ancient ruins of Ancient Greece despite the fact that Ancient Greece had absolutely nothing to do with the theory of Skateboardtivity. So, today, the theory is still seen as a theory, obviously, as the title of the article consistantly has stated throughout its entire existance[too much Wikipedia talk], and so it is, yeah, well, basically, yeah, just a theory. And it's actually predicted that the theory will not develop on from a theory, due to the fact that it doesn't make any sense and has no real reason for existing. Oh well. Deal with it.[Don't laugh at that or your mom will disown you! Ha just kidding. Oh well. *cough* nevermind.] Evidence for the theory As explained several times earlier, the theory has much evidence to existing, according to scientists who must have been smoking weed and/or drinking when thy were finding the evidence, because "the Element logo on the back of the skateboard" is OBVIOUSLY not evidence. No one really knows what was going on in their heads. They think the scientists were drunk and/or high, according to the New York Times. So really, there is no credible evidence, even though the scientists say that there is evidence. No, there is no way this is evidence. Why would it be? How could it be? Yeah. Real hard.... Hmm.... Criticism Critics have heavily criticised this theory, as stated earlier, largely due to the fact that it's such a ridiculous and irrational theory, according to just about everyone who's heard of it, which really isn't that many people, which a critic from Sivliah Potter's ChinaNetwork Times magazine actually said "good" to the fact that not many people have heard of the theory itself, before. Critics also state that the whole concept of skateboardtivity as a whole is flawed, especially because of how, according to this critic, "the theory doesn't make any sense. What's happening to society? Seriously, what the f*** is going on with society here?" See also *History of the theory of Skateboardtivity *America